Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Stormy’s Fantastic Fall Fashion Roundup 

A couple days ago, Stormy was rummaging through her closet in search of her perfectly pink Kate Spade handbag when it occurred to her--Stormy, not Kate--that Labor Day is just around the corner. As any self-respecting Southerner will tell you, Labor Day means two things. First, it’s the unofficial end of summer. Oh, yes, time to trade the bikini for the faux fur. And that’s not to say that Stormy has never seen a faux fur bikini because she has. And it’s not a pleasant memory. Secondly, those summer whites get relegated to the guest bedroom closet because they are as likely to be seen after Labor Day as, oh, say, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ first born. While Stormy gets a head start on organizing her fall closet, she thought she would share with you some must-have fashion tips and give you a preview of just what you might be seeing this season.


Leggings--Revenge of the ‘80s


Stormy took her adorable 15-year-old niece on a lavish back-to-school shopping spree that included stops at all of the trendiest shops. From across the boutique, Stormy heard KK shout, “Stormy (KK knows who pays the credit card bills, so she wouldn’t dare call Stormy “Aunt Stormy”), I absolutely must have these in every single color!” Hoping KK had stumbled across a designer collection of contact lenses; Stormy turned the corner only to discover that KK was immediately drawn to the leggings on display, offered in a rainbow of colors, no less. Stormy was immediately transported back in time. (It would be rude to ask just how far back in time, so don’t!) While KK will look stunning in her new leggings, Stormy expects to see these on the likes of Carrie Underwood, who will have no trouble pulling off this look either. Especially if she pairs them with those adorable little Sketchers that she endorses. It also bodes well for Miss Underwood that she’s too young to remember when leggings were a fashion craze the first time.


Skinny Jeans--They’re not just for Ronnie Dunn anymore


Say “bye, bye” to those low-rise, flared jeans and get ready for what has been a fashion staple in Ronnie Dunn’s closet for years—skinny jeans. As Brooks & Dunn prepare to host “The 40th Annual CMA Awards" show on Nov. 6, little does Ronnie know that he won’t be burning any fashion bridges. Although this look is intended for the ladies, Ronnie will actually be right in step with the latest fall trend; jeans so narrow from hip to ankle that muscle tone and definition are on display. Stormy predicts that you’ll see skinny jeans on the likes of Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles and the marvelous Martina McBride. However, don’t count on Miranda Lambert. Stormy believes that Blake Shelton’s squeeze is firmly planted in her soft and broken-in pelvic-slung hipsters.


Volume Fuller Skirts & Dresses—Go with the Flow


On the opposite end of the spectrum from those skinny jeans, Stormy sees country music’s best dressed women hitting the stage and the red carpet in long, flowing gowns. As Sara Evans gears up for “Dancing with the Stars,” Stormy predicts you’ll see her tango her way into viewers’ hearts in a series of swirling skirts that exude elegance and panache. Stormy can only hope that some of Sara’s style and flair will rub off on her fellow dancer Jerry Springer, who’s destined to step on Emmitt Smith’s toes, if you’ll pardon the expression, and chairs and punches will fly! And, remember ladies, a voluminous skirt is great to wear if one plans to overindulge at dinner without appearing to be anything less than svelte. Not that Stormy has EVER done that, but she thought you should know. A girl’s gotta eat. We fashion-minded types must stick together.


Leopard Prints—Don’t Go Changing Your Spots


Stormy just returned from a whirlwind trip to Paris, and over lunch with one French fashionista, Stormy learned that leopard prints aren’t just back; they never, ever go out of style. Whether it’s a snazzy collar on a fuzzy black jacket or a pair of stiletto heels, spots are hot! Write that down. Glancing into her crystal ball, Stormy can see Lee Ann Womack using this little bit of advice. After a less-than-stellar wardrobe selection at last year’s CMA Awards show in New York City, Stormy expects Lee Ann to hit the ground running this fall with new music and a renewed fashion sense. Somewhere the other day, Stormy was reading that Lee Ann had mentioned that she really doesn’t enjoy all the attention she gets for her clothing. Well, there’s a reason: just because folks are looking doesn’t mean they are necessarily pleased with what they see. Sometimes, it’s easy to hate ourselves in the morning because we weren’t wearing a great outfit tonight.


Lace & Ruffles—If You’re Thinking Grandma’s Curtains, Think Again


If it’s lacey but not racy and features rows of ruffles, it’s in this fall, according to Stormy’s glamour sources. Romantic looks are more than those exchanged by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. Stormy is talking about opaque lace that screams femininity (with the appropriate layering, of course). And who better to showcase this fall trend than Mrs. McGraw, being the tall Mississippi girl that she is. After the vintage ‘70s wardrobe and big hair that Faith endured for the video “Like We Never Loved at All,” followed by the jeans and t-shirt featured in “Mississippi Girl,” Stormy thinks it’s time to drape Faith in lavish layers of lace, the hottest style of the season. Of course, she must be dripping in diamonds from head to toe, as Stormy believes any girl should be. Oh, Faith is indeed the lucky one!


Let’s hear it for the Boys—The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same


As for men’s fashions, well, Stormy would never say there is any gender bias where this particular topic is concerned. However, does anyone see George Strait trading in his starched Wranglers for a pair of pin-striped navy pants? Don’t be silly. What about Keith Urban? He might be married to Hollywood royalty, but Stormy doesn’t expect him to sell those vintage t-shirts on eBay so that he can dart into the nearest Target for a three-pack of Hanes’ best undershirts. Granted, you might find a pair of Hugo Boss slacks in Kenny Chesney’s closet, chances are those 29-inch waist Levi’s will remain in heavy rotation. Will Trace Adkins trim that pony tail? Not unless Stormy, with scissors in hand, catches him in a weak moment backstage at the Grand Ole Opry. Is Rascal Flatts’ Gary Levox due a new coif? Absolutely. Is it likely to happen? About as likely as Pam Anderson living in domestic bliss with Kid Rock, but that’s a new column entirely. Stormy is simply saying that the men of country know what works. And, more importantly, they know how to work it.


Don’t let the dog days of summer escape without sifting through your closet and setting your sights on looking absolutely fabulous this fall! And remember: looking good, make that great, is the best revenge.