Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

The Kid Gloves Come Off for Nashville Star’s Week 3

G’day, mates! And g’day Nashville Star fans. If Dina and Stormy looked a bit bleary eyed, it’s because they just returned from the Golden Coast where they were courtside for the Australian Open. Both Stormy and Dina are exhausted, but oh, do they have the best tans since Faith Hill in that writhing-in-the-desert “Breathe” video she did a few years back. Dina was concerned that the 21-hour flight might appear as jet lag for the show, but well, honestly, both Stormy and Dina looked better rested that Randy Owen--that’s no major feat, mind you. Better rested, yes, but the tan lines were simply embarrassing, especially for Dina. While Stormy begged Dina not to wear the absolutely irresistible Prada sundress with the spaghetti straps, Dina insisted. Stormy put her Gucci-adorned foot down when Dina suggested a hat to shield her delicate skin. Stormy insisted, “This is not the Kentucky Derby.” Fashion disaster averted, be assured that Stormy, on the other hand, played it safe with a strapless empire-waist Pucci sundress that was out of this world. If you saw us on camera from our VIP seats, that explains why Stormy and Dina looked so absolutely fantastic. Just thought you should know. Now, as for the night’s show, read on, Nashville Star fans for Stormy’s summary as seven became six.

Little Big Town, how far they’ve come in just a few years, singing about the “Boondocks.” Well, “Good As Gone,” that’s a little insensitive for a show where someone’s going to be gone within the hour, don’t you think? Ouch.


First off, Stormy simply must ask: does Anastasia Brown buy gold jewelry in bulk? Multiple chains, earrings and bracelets, they are going to get tangled up in those hair extensions. And it’s not going to be pretty. Less is more, Anastasia. As for Randy, he very nearly styled his hair, and it looks as if somebody went to the salon ... and washed some of that gray right out of his hair. Stormy thought Randy’s brown ensemble looked familiar, and when Stormy got home, she realized why. That monotone shirt and jacket was a perfect match for Stormy’s living room sofa. Fashion comparisons to furniture are never positive. Oh, and to whoever hid that annoying Bic pen, Stormy owes you a huge thanks. Two weeks ago when Stormy referred to this as the best Nashville Star season ever, little did she know she would enjoy the judges so very much.

While Meg Allison sang, Randy looked as if he was hearing “Take Me Down” for the first time. Indeed, Meg struggled a bit at first but found her voice by the chorus. After delivering a striking arrangement of an Alabama classic, Randy offered a fashion critique wrapped around a prayer request. Stormy’s shout out this week simply must go to judge Blake Shelton, whose witty banter continues to surprise Stormy. Not only is he the best dressed, which is really not difficult to accomplish alongside Anastasia and Randy, but his commentary simply left Stormy and Dina giddy. When he asked if it’s possible to make him feel like “a proud father and turn me on at the same time,” Dina and Stormy were more than amused. 

Stormy loved David St. Romain--or DSR from here forward--and his performance of “Life is a Highway.” If you’re going Stormy’s way, DSR, keep her in mind. Stormy must tell you, however, that your fashion choice was lackluster at best. You may want to ride that highway all night long, but rest assured you’re attired more like that of roadkill. Dress like you came to perform and not sit in the audience, please. Remember: no attention paid to style, and DSR won’t be around in a while.

Joshua Stevens’ performance of “I Still Believe In You” was upstaged by Jewel’s onstage verbal attack on Anastasia. Meow, claws and all. Jewel, you go girl! The best entertainment was Jewel calling Anastasia on the carpet. Now, Joshua, you have no idea how nervous Stormy and her friends get down at Krazy Karl’s Karaoke when someone steps up to that microphone and tears into a Vince Gill classic. They are not for the faint of heart. It’s always a real nail biter as to whether or not they can hit the high notes. Your version, Joshua, well, you owe Stormy for one very expensive manicure.

Zac Hacker, Stormy loves your voice, likes your style, lukewarm on your hair, over the soul patch, out to lunch on your wardrobe and undecided about your song selection. Stormy has a fear of commitment where you’re concerned, but she knows you’ll try harder next week to impress her. Stormy simply has that effect on men, and being a victim of your gender, Stormy feels confident you’ll take it up a notch.

Angela Hacker, did someone tell you that Stormy is a huge Bonnie Raitt fan? “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” oh, if Stormy had a dollar for every time she’s been on the receiving end of that one. Unfortunately, Stormy was slightly distracted during your performance when Dina discovered Randy and Anastasia dancing just a few feet away from us. It was very nearly the second cat fight of the evening.

Whitney Duncan, take note, it’s been very, very difficult for Sheryl Crow to sell Stormy on the whole idea that she’s a country artist. Sheryl’s not, but she tries to be from time to time. You, Whitney, trying to sell Stormy with “The First Cut is the Deepest” is simply not going to happen. When you dip into the deep well of Don Williams’ songs one week, then follow it up with this, Stormy thinks your gold sparkly top shone brighter than your vocals. Stormy thought the judges were remarkably kind to you.

Poor Kacey Musgraves. Her performance of “You Win Again” could not have been farther from the truth. If we take one lesson away from Kacey’s experience, let us not forget the value of good song selection.

While Stormy spends the next week printing photos from her Australian excursion, Whitney, Angela, Zac, Joshua, David and Meg will receive their song assignments from the judges. Among Stormy’s wishes are a vintage Sara Evans' tune for Meg; a Tammy Wynette classic for Angela; a Charley Pride evergreen for David; a Ronnie Milsap gem for Zac and a Larry Gatlin hit for Joshua. Until then, I’m Stormy Weather, and I’m seeing stars . . . Nashville Stars.